I didn’t watch any of the coverage after the Queen died. I thought it was very sad, and the end of an era etc. But at the end of the day – she led a long life. The performative nature of the 24/7 coverage was just a little bit too weird for me.

The change of season has also knocked me sideways a little. I understand why people say ‘Autumn is my favourite time of the year!’ (Normally followed by a ‘Yay!’) I really do, I get it, but feck that. I like bright mornings and long, warm, summer evenings. I like to be in shorts and bare feet as much as possible. The switch to Autumn has given me the grump.

I’m also having a ‘Cannot be arsed’ moment trying to get things sorted out for the renovation. It’s just difficult to get anything done in this country at the moment. Phone calls not returned. Builders and Architects obviously have quite enough work and money and don’t need anymore right now…

Only explanation I can think of.

I’m going to have a conversation about a new role tomorrow. Good money – but would require me to be away from home every week. Not sure about that. Will think on it.

Ugh I hate wearing socks.

During lockdown we started spending a lot more time in the garden, there was nothing else to do. Then you do a little bit of work in it sorting things out, and then a bit more. It’s taken a bit of effort but it’s really nice to sit out there now. Spending the time in the garden you get to see what lives there and what visits. All kinds of birds and animals. We are on the border of farmland at the coast so it’s really nice. On our estate there are a lot of Wood Pigeons. I knew little about them. Distinctive call – which can be annoying early in the morning. But they’re okay birds. The country bumpkin of the Pigeon world. Taste quite good as well 🙂

During lockdown we had a pair of Wood Pigeons that hung around the garden. Herself loves nature so named them Pidge (Him) and Podge (Her). I learned that Wood Pigeons are love birds. They mate for life – when their mate dies they actually grieve. Which got a loud ‘AWWWWwww!’ from Herself when I read it out loud.

(This is giving a great overview of how boring lockdown was and how it turned us into mad bird people)

Podge was always the clever one and it’d get to the stage where she’d wait outside the Pantry door for Herself or Myself to fetch some seed to chuck on the lawn. Herself thought this was too adorable. Anyway a year went by and it wouldn’t be uncommon for one of us to say “Howya Podge? Want some dinner?”. Herself could spot Podge because she apparently had a little bit of a bent beak. To me they were just a couple of Wood Pigeons, I knew Podge only because she wouldn’t run away. She’d let me walk past her to hang washing out, or if I’d be weeding or something I’d have to say “Move yer arse Podge I need to get past” and she’d waddle out of the way. When I was sat at the table outside she’d wander past quite happily – with Herself saying “Lift your feet Podge wants to get past”.

I would still call them ‘Shit Chickens’ which would get me a scolding. But they are. Loud, just wander about and you don’t even get eggs from them – so it made sense to me. But they made Herself happy.

We went on holiday to Italy in January. Got back and noticed that Podge was alone. Our neighbour said he had to scrape up the remains of a Pigeon from his garden. We reckoned that was Pidge. He was never very clever. Fox, Bird of Prey, Crow, idiot house cat without a bell. Could be any number of ways he met his end.

Anyway, Herself was a bit upset about it and Podge got extra seed. She was alone now.

We went off to Italy again in June. When we got back this time, a couple of other Pigeons were hanging around the garden. Long story short – seems that Podge got chased off a bit while we were away. Territory. That’s the way nature works, she was outnumbered. But with us back she’d quite happily eat the seed and the other Pigeons wouldn’t land and bother her because we were there. But she kept getting into fights. Would return to the garden with a bad limp. Fair play to her – she fought for her territory alone.

The other week we had to head south for a wedding. In the days before that Podge had been in the garden as usual – but hiding in the borders with a really bad limp. Seems to me she was resting up for the day in the safety of our garden – and then heading out in the evening. It didn’t look good though.

We’ve been back a week and a bit now. No sign of Podge. She has been off on little adventures before, but not this long.

It’s a wild bird. It’s nature. They’re shit chickens! But…I miss that silly little bent beaked bird.

I’ve been around for quite a while. Long enough to forget pretty much everything I learned about HTML, CSS, CMS..es. So I just had a quick look at what’s going on with these sites.

[Stage Whisper] Fuck me lads the WordPress UI is a hot mess. Ugh. This is going to be painful.

I need to get the duster out, and mop and bucket. Tidy things up here. Sorely neglected. Getting certificates installed was fun – I had forgotten I needed to do that, when I should have done that. But at least no errors now.

Quick updates then:

I’m healthy, I think.

I’m happy(ish) even though the World seems to be circling the toilet bowl.

Finished one work contract and looking for the next thing

Turned half a century – that’s mad

Quit all Meta properties, just can’t of it anymore. I have Twitter, WordPress and Tumblr.

But for now – really time to tidy up

So long since I’ve actually written anything, Ridiculous. I’d really like to get back into blogging but it’s just not a habit anymore. Meh.

Life is the usual hamster wheel. Same as it is for anyone else right now. We’re going to go away for a little break to Europe soon though. A holiday. First in two years. And we’re people who used to travel every other month.

My goodness the paperwork needed now…

Last year, up until August, we had quite glorious weather. I spent a lot of time in the garden cooking and drinking. Probably too much drinking when we look back on it. With the exercise now a few glasses of wine does me. We look back at that lockdown party and think “Jayzuz how did we manage that??”.

This Summer? Well it’s just nonexistent. Very thick cloud and not a sight of the sun. Constantly damp. Not a lot of cooking on the fire outside at all – the stack of wood and charcoal is mocking me. Heading into the Winter now so this is going to be tough on people.

Apart from that I’m grand. We are still no closer to getting the house renovated. Which is…annoying but consistent. Trying to get builders to commit to anything is extraordinarily hard. It’s difficult to get materials right now, and a lot of people are getting work done. But apparently they run out of money or don’t get the remortgage and it all becomes a bit of a disaster.

We have the cash. Just trying to find someone who will take it and commit to something is a challenge. Madness.

Herself is getting an old sofa of hers rebuilt and re-upholstered. It’s from a place that hands out fifty year guarantees with their furniture. The sofa was in the apartment we had rented out and the it got destroyed by tenants. It’s being rebuilt and re-upholstered and we’ll have it (as it’s very good) and we REALLY need to get rid of what we have now. I eventually agreed to go and help pick fabric and what legs it would have etc. Jayzuz it’s like ordering food in America. Too much choice.

“What kind of sofa do you want?”

“Comfy!” [end of]

But you have to be part of things like this. Well, seeing as she got the sofa I decided I needed a comfortable new chair:

“What kind of chair do you want?”

“Comfy!”

“Oh for gawds sake…”

“Okay not only does it need to BE comfy it needs to LOOK comfy and it needs to give off a vibe of ‘Thats a comfy chair but it obviously belongs to somebody who would not want me to sit in it’ and so they will sit anywhere else and ENVY that chair”

“Not helping”

“You asked”

But we went up to look at them and pick one for me. Two hours lads! I have never spent that length of time on any decision. Fabric, colour, casters, legs, filling. Sort of matching footstool even! Do I want buttons on the fabric on the footstool? (No, too bloody floofy). Herself LOVED that I was involved as she loves this kind of thing. And was being fussed by the assistant.

“What colour for the fabric, this or this?” Herself and the Assistant look expectantly at me

“This is one of those times I remind you I’m colour blind isn’t it?”

Look of exasperation on Herselfs face and the Assistant is trying not to laugh.

“You pick the colour love. I trust you”

Beamy smile and I can go find a seat to sit down on until all choices have been made.

It cost a BOMB. And not only do I still not have a chair, as they have to build it (quite cool tbf), I’m now crossing my fingers it arrives by Christmas.

I’m not patient at the best of times.

But it has a fifty year guarantee so I’ll not outlive that. If I do then something has gone very wrong as I haven’t planned to be around for that long!

With work I’m just thinking to myself “You never learn do you?”. I had thought it would be rather easy. A twelve month contract and it seemed like they had their act together and have done well. Swans lads! All cool and calm on the surface but desperately manic underneath. Still, that’s why I’m here. It’s what I’m good at and it’s what I get paid for. But the first month has been a bit tiring.

I’m not a fan of large time differences. But been there and done that. My next role has to be working with Europe.

This was just stream of thought ramblings. But I’m trying to get back into writing. I miss blogs and my blog. It’s just a habit.

A year is enough time off I think. I got a lot done – not all of it exactly what I wanted to get done. But there you go. Back to the office world in a week or so.

Except it won’t be really. It’s remote working. Which I’m totally fine with as I’ve done that for a very, very long time. But it should be interesting as I was starting to get an itch and needed to be back at work.

Apart from that everything else is pretty much same old same old.

Maybe I’ll have something else to write about.

I’ve just found the share button on my iPhone. This is the thing that worries me most about COVID. The Long COVID impact which is far more scary.

“Nearly 70,000 cases of covid infection were reported yesterday, 8th January. Of course that’s officially confirmed cases and the real number of infections will be much higher. A small but significant proportion of those people will go on to be hospitalised and a small but significant proportion of them will die in the next few…”
— Read on edrooksby.wordpress.com/2021/01/09/nine-months-in-the-long-limbo-of-long-covid/

“I tried that Mindlessness app”

“MindFULLness, how’d it go?”

“I drifted off and fell asleep”

“Well that’s good”

“Nah, that’s not what you’re supposed to do”

This is going to need some work. Not as easy as I thought.

I managed to write more blog posts as I was on my iPad. But that’s sitting in a holder arm thingy on my desk (Herself got it for me as a Christmas present) and it’s just killed the urge. Must try harder.

I’m still unemployed. The Pandemic means savings stretch a LOT further, so there’s no real panic. I can easily manage another six months. I probably don’t want to as having savings is a good thing – but no worries yet. I really need to find the right thing. Also – I’m grateful I have the space to do that. So many other people are in a far worse situation.

That’s one thing the Pandemic has taught me. I have more empathy than I thought I had. It’s not a good thing. I think life would be so much easier if I went through it not giving a shite about people. Or only a minimal amount of shite given at the most. But I do. I worry, a lot, about how people are coping. People I don’t even know – never mind the people I do. I have to give myself breaks from the news as it all gets a bit too much. But then I feel guilty as I feel like it’s something that should be witnessed.

It has taken a bit of a toll on me head. If I’m being honest for once.

That’s one of the ‘fun’ things about life. You have to figure everything out yourself. Then Tik Tok threw a couple of videos at me that stopped me dead in my tracks, so I had to do a bit of reading about High Functioning Anxiety. Tick, Tick, Yes, Yes, Tick, Tick etc. But surely everyone feels that way? It’s not even a recognised thing, just a catch all. Then again maybe they don’t feel that way? I’ve no idea. I hit the big half century next year so I’ve been living a long time in this brain and body. It’s normal for me. It’s not too bad actually. I think I’m great and quite a brilliant and loveable person most of the time. I tell Herself often 🙂

If it could help me stop grinding my teeth at night that would be good though. I don’t know why I do that. I’d rather not buy disposable gum shields for the rest of my life. I thought I was also getting arthritis as my hands and fingers have been aching. Until Herself pointed out that I ball them into fists when I sleep sometimes, and occasionally start battling with unseen foes. Brill.

I don’t think I feel anxious. But then I wondered if that was my default and normal setting? I got entirely fucked off with the World at the end of January. Luckily I’m older now so I knew it was just a bad time and it would pass. I really didn’t need to run off to a new City or Country by myself and the rest of the World really didn’t need to bugger off and leave me alone.

Anyway, I have no answers. I’m going to subscribe to the Headspace app and give that a go.

In other news I’m still exercising. I like Apple Fitness+ and Fitify is still really good. With the rowing machine thats a good combination. Herself is also exercising so we’re in good shape. Except when it’s been a bit of a vicious squat day. I think the people who make stair lifts are missing an opportunity in not marketing to middle aged people who work out.

I also joined the board of a Charity to help out with Techy, strategy things. They are very grateful. It’s easy for me though. Still feel like a bit of a fraud when it comes to what I know. But I still get surprised that people don’t know what I know, or can’t look at things in a simple way. Oh well, I’ll use those skills to get paid some day!

Herself had a bit of a bad time at work. To do with reorganisations. I’ve been advising her on that as in my view it was ‘Not a good thing…at all’ that was happening. Wrote some emails that she sent out as her. It all seems to be working out and has gained her much more respect in the Group. As a back up she also has another potential job offer that would double her salary. So fingers crossed that it’s all going to be good.

I also helped a couple of other people with work/job related things so I’m hoping it works out for them as well.

I could do with me as a friend. But I probably wouldn’t listen – eejit 😉

I’m trying though.