I’ve never felt old. Tired for sure. Not that good tired where you’ve grafted in the garden all day and have aching muscles and a sense of accomplishment. But just the bad kind of tired caused by the grind of life nowadays.

And caused by people. People can be feckin stupid and draining.

But I have never felt old. I still laugh at the stupidest things and go through life thinking I’ll be found out at some stage. But then you get to an age where you realise most people are like that. I think. I’ve also been lucky with my health. Never had any issues and can still go for a run.

Admittedly the hangovers are a bit of a struggle nowadays. Not like in your early twenties when you can just get on with it.

I forget how old I am. Seriously. Herself dies laughing when I accidentally add a couple of years or subtract one or two. I don’t do it because I want to be younger. Experience is a bloody brilliant thing to have and that only comes with age. I just never felt my age. So I sort of forget it. It’s not important until you fill out a form or something anyway. And it doesn’t seem THAT long ago to me, but it is.

I got some swanky new specs. I use those online sites now as I can’t stand going to the opticians. I’ve always had terrible eyesight, but I don’t trust opticians to get it right. So ordering specs from a prescription is amazing. Until they stop me saying it’s a new(wish) prescription when it’s a few years old, which will spoil all the fun and convenience.

I selected the ‘Computer’ option with Herself at my shoulder saying I should select distance. My response was “Well they don’t have a ‘Just to generally feckin see’ option so I’ll chose Computer…I’m on them all day.”

Specs came, I like them and WOW, I can actually see my laptop again. Super happy. Until I looked up and, bollox, everything else at a distance is blurry.

“Well that’s shite”, says me “Why can’t I get a prescription so I can see at a distance AND at the Computer”

“You can…” says Herself…just leaving it hanging until my brain caught up.

“Wha? So how…that would mean…vari…”

“Varifocals yes”

“Can’t, I’m not old”

“You want to be able to see?”

“I’ve seen enough of the World at distance, a lot of it is shite, I’ll be grand”

“Oh you really are young, mentally”

“Point taken”

So you can’t stop the march of time. And you can’t just forget about it either. So I’ll order some varifocals.

I still don’t feel old.


I liked smoking. It was a soporific thing for me (love that word). Obviously it was horribly unhealthy, but I still enjoyed it. At the most I could get through thirty or forty a day. That’s not great. Early death etc. But I’d rather have a few vices in life and live it to it’s fullest than live on cabbage leaves and water for a very long time.

That would be entirely boring.

I gave up because I had an urge to run a marathon. London. Bastards didn’t let me in but that’s by the by. Very competitive to win a place. BUT, as I was planning for it I thought to Myself ‘Now, you may be stubborn but even your levels of stubbornness can’t get you through a marathon on thirty a day” Science isn’t it?

So I quit.

When you quit smoking two to three weeks into quitting you get sick. Very sick. Horrible cold and cough. It goes eventually but you feel like death for a bit. Do I feel better for quitting smoking? Well I don’t feel as awful in the morning, and my mouth doesn’t taste like a forgotten bin. But I don’t feel like Superman. Saying that, had I kept smoking I might feel really shit by now. Who knows?

What’s the point? Well Herself and Myself have really cut down on alcohol lately. Not exactly a conscious thing but we’d got back into exercise and Science dictates if you drink a bottle of wine or two the night before…a run is going to be feckin painful.

Science can be a bit of a bastard,

It’s been about a month (nearly) with the drastically reduced alcohol. And we both feel a bit lethargic. No pizazz. Now I need to figure out if it’s the same thing as quitting smoking. You’re going to feel a bit crap and then it evens out. Of course it could also be the massive workloads we’re both under. Life is not boring. But you have to rule things out.

It’s science.

Smoke and maybe fire

I can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve had a cigarette. Years. It’s probably good that I can’t remember, because if I’m still counting the days then it goes that I’m still thinking about it. And I don’t want to think about it.

I still have my pipe and cigars but they have been relegated to a rare treat.

Vaping is what got me off the cigarettes, I can’t give that up. I’m not a Saint…much more of a bon vivuer – with a massive nicotine addiction.

Vaping is (by anybody’s standard) better for you than smoking. Not good for you, just better. So I got into a bit of a grump recently seeing headlines about people dying from vaping and maybe it’s dangerous and MAYBE we should ban it.

News in general is shite right now. It’s quite awful that people in the US and India have been dying. But it’s important to look at the common factors. That’s vaping yeah? Well yes, but more pointedly that they were all vaping cannabis derived oils and vitamin oils. Something that is very unregulated and, I can’t stress this enough, REALLY BLOODY BAD FOR YOU.

But all you see on the news is that vaping kills people. I shouldn’t be surprised as facts died a long time ago. God forbid anyone do any research. I’m not linking to the stories as links = attention = advertising money and I don’t want to encourage this kind of nonsense,

Also probably quite a shame for Governments that they can’t tax vaping products.

Can’t be anything to do with the hysteria though…

Life is a bit full

I was walking home from the train station the other evening and thought ‘I should write something, it feels like years since I did’. Then I composed a rather good blog post in my head before I get home.

Scroll forward some days or weeks and I really should have written it down.

I’m trialling Marsedit (now the brings back some memories) as it might be easier to just compose a few drafts and to see where I go from there. I have tried on my phone, but I’m getting older and refusing to accept I might need to get varifocals so can only use my phone for editing if it’s an inch from my nose, or at arms length. Neither of those are very comfortable.

Quick update time!

I’m getting married. I’ve never tried that before, nor had the full desire to. That’ll need it’s own post.

I’m back at a Senior Corporate Level, despite trying very hard not to be. Things float eh?

I’ve learned a lot about myself these past few years, and it’s all good

The World really seems to have turned into a stinking rubbish fire – but there are still good people in it.

That feels like some good prompts to write later. Sometimes I feel I would have liked to have a look through the things I’ve deleted – but I’d probably wish I could write that prolifically again.

Goodbye Social Media

When I stopped smoking one of the things I noticed was just how much time I had. Nothing wastes a bit of time just sitting and having a smoke.

I’ve started to feel the same way about Social Media. I deleted my Facebook account nearly a year ago – have not missed it. But I have also been spending too much time on Twitter.

Now I think your Twitter experience is very dependent on who you follow. Well, if you’re a man that is. If you’re a woman itt seems to be a constant garbage fire.

I follow Historians and authors and do come across some interesting things. But even then the amount of drivel and noise is incredible. And it’s a constant source of information. One or two hours can just fly by.

I want my time back.

So I deleted the Twitter app from my phone. I’m guaranteed to get three hours a day back. That’s an incredible amount of time. Now I need to put it to use.

Sigh, Luddites

Herself, does not like Technology. At all.

If she has to use it (like most people not living in a log cabin) then it should just work and cause no problems. Her work mobile phone broke this morning. Refused to charge, the bugger.

Reader, it was the end of the World.

So as she’s travelling on business tomorrow, work dispatched her another phone and this is where I came into things – because I’m obviously there to set it up. Anybody who has any technical skills understands this – you are the free family tech support unit.

“Okay, don’t touch it, I’ll set it up later” (because I’m kind)

[time passes]

“What’s the WiFi password?”

“I told you to leave it and not touch it, I’d set it up…”

“I did”

“Um, so why do you need the WiFi password?”

“Because the new phone is asking for it”

[Proverbially rubs temples] “That REALLY sounds like you’ve touched the phone though…”

“I just turned it on….”



“I’ll wait for you”


First run

It wasn’t the first run. I’ve ran a lot in my life. But I haven’t ran at all this year. Christmas was a lot of feasting and generally being merry. So I was starting to feel the effects and needed a little bit of exercise. Something that didn’t involve opening a bottle of wine or just walking to the fridge. It’s been a very hectic and busy year. We all get the same amount of time in the day – but running just wasn’t on the agenda (excuses, excuses).

Jayzuz it was awful.

I remember when I was a child I ran everywhere. Nothing like just running and running and feeling like you can go on forever. I still remember that feeling, so surely a thirty minute run will be no problem? A gentle jog, it’ll be easy.

That thought lasted about 500m before the ‘Oh, this is going to be awful’ thoughts started.

My heartrate went up to 142 and steadily climbed for the rest of the run. Every bottle of booze I had consumed this year was metaphorically strapped to my legs. At the mile mark my brain started with the “Why? Why? WHY?!” and that’s when Spotify decided to quit playing through my running app. So it was me and just very heavy breathing to get me through.

But I had decided to go for a thirty minute run. Fifteen minutes along the country track next to our house, as soon as I hit that mark, then turn back. It wasn’t a big or complicated target. No distance or pace involved. Just run for fifteen minutes, turn around and get back home.

I didn’t enjoy it. I stopped to walk a number of times. I only managed 2.6 miles. My heart rate was maxed out most of the time. I was at least four minutes off the pace I used to have. So many things to be disappointed at. But I did it. I didn’t sit on my arse and watch TV. Even though it was blowing a gale. I set myself a very simple task and didn’t think much beyond getting it done.

I always ask myself ‘What do I need to do next?’. It can be the simplest tasks or most complex project but if you ask yourself that, then it breaks it down rather simply. In this case: pick a time for running, put my kit on, stop whining like a baby and push start on the app and get out of the door, run for fifteen minutes, turn around, run home.

I’m glad I did it. Not my best run. But I can try and beat that time on the track for the next run.

Same thing as writing a blog post. Instead of thinking ‘What will I write about?’ for days. What do I need to do next? Sit down and write – doesn’t have to be brilliant.

Little steps make habits etc. Both good and bad.


I’ve given up on Facebook. Twitter is okay for news that isn’t from the general media. Instagram is not too bad, although I fear for it’s future. I don’t understand Snapchat. I miss the old days of Blogs. So I’ve wiped everything and let’s give it a go…start again.

Jayzuz I’ve forgotten everything about installing WP though. Thank goodness for one click installers, because I’m in no mood to mess arund with databases and confg files (is it even still done that way?). Give me a few years and I’ll struggle with remote controls.

Long form writing, used to be so easy…so rusty now though.

Christmas is nearly upon us. ‘Love Actually’ is back in the TV schedule. It’s a guilty pleasure. Airports can be lonely places or lovely places. I was away for a business trip last week. Landed quite late and I managed to sprint through passport control (practice). Herself was ‘minutes away’ in the car – which I know by now that means ten minutes of waiting in the cold for me. As i emerged into Arrivals there was a young family waiting for the Father. A young boy stood well in front of his Mum and Sister. How did I know? We live in enlightened times so they could be waiting for their own Herself. Well because the young fella announced quite loudly “Oh! You’re not my Dad’

I was tired. Couldn’t resist it…as I walked past the Young lad saying a quiet “Sez you”

Out of the terminal and into the cold with the echo of “Muuum..??” behind me.

Well you have to entertain yourself sometimes.